Mercan knew. She knew the moment she found a picture of Tahir and Eylul in his hand. So vivid, so clear. Everything made sense now.

His silence when she talked about Tahir and Eylul. The dark shadow casting his face. The pain hiding behind his stoic eyes. Everything made sense.

She would be lying if she said this didn't throw her off the guards. With Ates, she knew she has to walk on eggshells. He was an unpredictable man with a casket of secrets hiding under his bed. She knew she can expect secrets to unravel in a messy way. She kind of expected things to go out of hand, him to go out of her hand, whenever she comes to know about his so called past. But what she didn't expect- it was Tahir, the most beautiful memory of her past, to cheat on her in this way.

She had walked away then, asking that one question which he didn't seem to give a verbal answer to.

"You are Tahir? Are you? Ates?"

His lips opened and closed. But he didn't utter a single word of denial. She knew then.

Ates would never lie to her. She trusted him over that. But it also meant his reluctance to deny meant he was what she wouldn't think of in her worst dream- Tahir.

Tahir was her beautiful poem. Ates was her tragic story. But now she knew- the poem and the story- both were the same.

She hated it. She hated him. Ates and Tahir. She hated the way she has been kept in dark. She hated Cemal for making her believe that Tahir was dead. She hated her uncle for not speaking up clearly. She hated her father over his so obvious lie about Tahir and Eylul. She hated everyone that moment. And hate was a strong word coming from her.

And in that rage, she left her home. Without as much as a bag. She was only carrying her phone and little cash, with some of her bank cards in that little wallet she always carried. She didn't want anyone near her. Not even her husband who has been her source of solace in the past few days. She knew it wouldn't be long before she's found. He's a literal cctv. However, today she sneaked out, cleverly, not absent-mindedly.

Where would she go? She thought alot.

Demet's? No way! She doesn't want Nezir to be murdered no matter how much of a nuisance he is.

Her summer house? Too easy to guess.

To uncle Durmus? No. They'd anyhow convince her to shower love on her husband. And she'd be easily convinced in their bubble of love.

A hotel room?

After much deliberation, she went to a fine hotel, owned by one of her business associates, where she'd be ensured safety and privacy before her family hovers again.

The phone in her purse, it was ringing like an unpleasant reminder, the moment she checked in. When she finally got into her room, cozy and welcoming, just like her, she dropped on the bed, as if the burden on her shoulders would drop too.

But the weight settled just beside her. Tahir and Ates. The truth clouding her head like a trauma. She was one of those who demanded explanations for every twitch of Ates' eyebrows. And so it was very unlikely of her to run away, but at that moment, nothing made sense.

Ates was Tahir, and he was seeking revenge from his father for something. Eylul was dead. There were vicious scars on his back. And not to forget the trauma of his childhood. The trauma....that Tahir underwent. They had no parents. And even Eylul died. Is it possible that her father is behind everything?

That thought made her stand up abruptly, her heartbeat fastened. Why would Tahir seek revenge from his father if he was not behind his trauma? She tried making sense of it all. But everything seemed to burst her head like a stubborn migraine.

A tear escaped her eyes. She's been brave all evening. Her husband was her childhood friend. It was both beautiful and ugly. She didn't know if it was the beginning of a beautiful marriage, or end of a beautiful childhood.

Her clothes were slightly wet, due to the drizzle of the cloudy gloomy day. But she didn't care about that.

Resentment. Hurt. Betrayal. And shock. All marred her heart and played a strange symphony, that made her believe one thing- she was truly alone in this world.

She wouldn't admit out loud- but she imagined that if she ever found Tahir, she'd turn to him to pull her out of the mess that the mansion was. She believed Tahir would come to her rescue when life will shut all the doors. But now, he was there, Tahir, all along, watching her breaking down every second, trying to unravel a man who seemed like an unsolvable puzzle. And. He never came to her rescue.

Mercan closed her eyes, that wretched phone vibrating like a vicious reminder of the life she has left behind. Even if for one night.

The knock on the door, pulled her out of her misery. She went to open it, already knowing her order has arrived. A black coffee. Without sugar. Something that made sense to him, but never to her.

"Pure black, just like me."

The sight of the coffee reminded her of his words. That stoic expressioned man, thinking of himself as all high and mighty, only because he drinks black coffee. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes before the waitress. Along side that coffee, was a plethora of snacks - chocolates, crackers and everything that could keep her sane.

She closed the door, not before thanking the waitress, who seemed intrigued.

She even lacked any clothes, so she couldn't really change out of her slightly wet clothes. She'll probably catch cold tomorrow. Because cold doesn't betray her, like everyone else in her life.

*

"Cemal! She's not picking up her phone.", Ates exclaimed the fiftieth time in the last hour.

Cemal was making calls in their home office and also stressing about Mercan knowing the truth.

"Why are we even worried about that girl? She must be with Nezir, her lover.", Asli remarked, making Ates go berserk.

He clenched his teeth, "For the last time Asli! Don't open your mouth if you have nothing good to say! Didn't we search at Nezir's?? She's not there! And damn you call that punching bag a lover!"

He never spoke so much. Never out of line. With Asli ofcourse. She was like his little sister. But somedays, he found her irritating to the core.

Cemal looked between the two. His jaw clenching in anger at Asli. He has already warned her not to provoke Ates! But she always have to turn it an opportunity against Mercan.

"Why don't you go and sleep Asli? Mercan is the last of your concerns. Mother you too."

The two ladies begrudgingly left the room. Mercan's parents on the other hand, only wondered why Mercan was giving them stress. They hoped Ates would find her.

Nobody, other than Cemal and Ates knew that the truth of Tahir was out before her.

"You should calm down Ates! We'd find her."

Ates couldn't. His heart left his body the moment he reentered their room, hoping to find her there, and explain her how Tahir was a myth now. And that she must forget him. But what he found was empty air. His heart dropping at the sight of empty bed, that she usually occupied by that time.

That childhood picture of his, it was sitting there, on the bed, like a reminder of what happened. He could have explained. He could have told her this picture belonged to her album. But the moment she asked him, "You are Tahir? Are you? Ates?"

His mouth refused to open. He couldn't lie to her. He couldn't say anything. If only he had kept this picture out of her reach. Not in his wallet. Hidden between those leather covers. Like everyday, they were passing snide remarks over each other, when she said his wallet looks torn and worn out.

"Imagine Ates Karahan having a torn wallet."

He had stopped for a few moments. It was his father's. The one his father gave to him because he wanted to feel like a man of the house. He had hidden it in his old house amongst his toys, and found it just a few days ago when they went there.

If only he was more vigilant.

"You know what! You are very stingy. I'll get you a new wallet."

"No need!", he had snapped at her, attempting to take the wallet out of her hands. However, the wallet fell down, and out came the cash, the cards, and that one forsaken picture. The one where him and Eylul were smiling wide at the camera. The one his father kept in his wallet.

It took her a moment, but she connected the dots. Sometimes, he hated her intelligence. The wide spectrum of understanding. Her long monologues over his feelings. She knew so much more than she let out. And seeing that picture, she finally connected what he has been keeping far from her.

He expected her to go wild. To ask countless questions. To cry alot because he hid the truth. He expected her to hit him for spoiling Tahir for her. But she didn't.

She just asked that question. He only told her that old, overused answer, "Don't interfere in my personal life."

And then he picked up the wallet, his things, and left the room. He hoped when she'll come back to ask questions, I'll think about making up something.

In his office, he did make up something. He decided he'd tell her he kept this photo so as to find Tahir for her. And so when he came back, after she didn't enter through his office doors demanding answers, she was already gone.

God knows where!

"Ates!", Cemal's voice brought him back, "She's in this hotel, one of the partners of Yildirim's, in the city centre. Let's go!"

His words finally made him release a sigh of relief. Atleast she wasn't hurt. But he didn't move from his place. Not unbothered, but too bothered to move.

"What are you thinking? Let's go."

Ates moved a little but then stopped, "Wait. Only I will go."

He knew he has to do this on his own. This was between Tahir and Mercan.

*

A knock on her door, around midnight startled her. She didn't order anything. She even had that 'do not disturb' card on the door. Who could it be?

She remained motionless in her place, on the small one seater, that seemed to hold her better than that huge bed. Her abandoned phone lying on the bed. Her thoughts were all over the place. Her life was turned upside down. She didn't know how to tread further. And for once, those feelings, that she has just began acknowledging, they gnawed at her heart. As if reminding her again and again that they were still here.

She had almost forgotten about the door when the knock sounded again. She looked at the door. A little scared. She has barely ever stayed out of the safety of that mansion. Especially never alone. And now her door was being knocked at the middle of the night.

Soon after, her phone started vibrating again. She stood up and went towards the bed to look at her phone.

'Zorba Bey' was calling. She would have rolled her eyes at that if the knock hadn't sounded for the third time.

Unconsciously, she picked up the phone. As if the call alone was a reminder of him, and clutched it to her chest.

Gathering some courage, she headed towards the door and thought of the almighty, with that vibrating phone in her hand, and opened the door.

Before her, was distraught looking Ates, his phone connected to his ear, hand on the way to knock for the fourth time.

It did both to her. Took her breath away and made her sigh in relief. The same happened to him. Despite knowing she was here, in this prestigious hotel, in the safety of the city, his heart has been unnerved since the start of the evening. And it seemed it will only calm down after he sees her with his own eyes.

"Mercan!"

The sound of her name, it made her come back to her senses. Ates was here. Or might be Tahir. Who knows.

"What are you doing here?"

Like he knew his wife like the back of his hand, the moment she attempted to close the door on his face, he got inside, and closed it instead.

Agitation ran over every nerve of Mercan. This man can't let her rest in peace.

He took her in properly. Her clothes were damp, the wet splotches around her shoulder. The thin shirt was doing nothing. She probably wasn't even carrying a coat with her. He didn't have to look around at the room to confirm that. Her hair were dishelved, escaping out of that claw clip, that she has meticulously clutched her hair with, this very morning. He would admit he watched her more than any normal man would. But she can't know that.

"Why did you leave like that? It's raining heavily outside."

Yeah! It was drizzling when she came. It must be raining now. The dampness of his hair confirmed that. They looked like they have faced a hard day. The curls were disarrayed, splayed all over his forehead, like planning a revolt against him.

But a moment broke her trance. She looked away. A wave of anxiousness passed through her. This man is an imposter. She can't look at him like he's her whole world.

Her gaze made him feel that familiar buzz. He can almost picture her saying he's been reckless again. And then pick her own towel to wipe his hair with her own hands. He wanted that. He expected that. A twinge of familiarity in this misery.

But instead, she went back to her one seater, and turned it to face that large wall sized window, which she had not acknowledged till now.

Folding her legs, and keeping her head on her knees, she focused on the view outside. Completely ignoring the man behind her.

Two things bothered Ates. First, the lack of reply from her. Second, the look of indifference in her eyes. As if he didn't bother her at all. Her gaze didn't linger on him enough.

On the other hand, Mercan really didn't want to be a bother, or be bothered.

"I am asking something Mercan? I...Your parents were worried about you."

She heard him. But she was aware her parents didn't care. Of the two hundred missed calls on her phone, only three were from her parents. Even Cemal had called her like twenty times. Others were all from 'Zorba Bey'.

Receiving no reply again, pushed him to the edge.

"Mercan!"

Agitated, he went forward and leaned on that one seater.

"I see no other Mercan here!"

She looked at him, sharply. She thought she wouldn't talk at all. But something needed to be said.

"Oh? But I see two people here! Which one is you exactly?"

He visibly shrunk at that. Her jab, it hit his weakest nerve. What would he do now? How will he convince her? How will he give her an explanation? What would calm her down?

"Mercan...", his voice turned softer, showing his helplessness. It tugged a string of her heart. She clutched her skirt in her palm, as if fighting him was physically hurting her.

"Go away Ates. You hurt me. You spoiled my most beautiful memories of Tahir by proclaiming him dead. And you've hurt me now by hiding such a thing as my husband!"

A few tears escaped her eyes, not hidden from his view. His heart clenched at that. He has again managed to make her cry. He has again hurt her, after vowing to himself not to.

"I am not going anywhere. You are not going to sulk here. I hid that because Tahir is no more. I have killed him within me long back! Only Ates is remaining of me. And that is why.."

She stood up from her chair, the phone in her lap, falling with a thud on the floor.

"You don't get to decide that! Tahir is not dead! And you don't get to say this again and again. Especially now, when I see him standing right in front of me."

His eyes glistened. He has not been addressed by that name since a long time. And somehow, it pulled a string of his heart. As if Tahir wasn't really dead. But sitting right within a corner of his heart, waiting to be called out loud. With the affection that he missed in childhood.

She moved closer to him, held the collar of his shirt.

"You are Tahir! You get that! Eylul's brother! My confidante! My friend! My...husband Ates! A man with two names...but just one heart!"

"There's no hea.."

She pushed him, making him stagger a bit, "Oh please! Cut the crap! And go away!"

Her anger, it was top notch. He could see the traces of that Mercan, who he saw while dealing with his kidnappers. And unconsciously, it made him flinch. She shouldn't be bothered much at this time. But her shirt, sticking to her skin, wet, the goosebumps on her skin, all were suggesting she's cold. She was shrinked in her chair, hugging her knees, he was observing her quite keenly. She had told him to go, but when does he ever listen.

He removed his overcoat, and then his blazer. Then, he removed his shirt. Mercan, who saw his overcoat being thrown on the bed, turned to look at him alarmed.

Has he lost his mind. This guy was removing his shirt here also. She looked away immediately. One thing was clear- Ates and Tahir, both were shameless.

Soon enough, she felt her view obstructed by his shirt.

"Remove your shirt. Wear this. Or you'll catch cold."

The shirt was dropped on her, that olive green one, which she meticulously chose for him this morning. With so much affection. Eagerly waiting for him to wear. To look all high, mighty, and something she may not admit at this moment, but extremely handsome. She loved to flaunt her husband. And she loved it more- dressing him up. Surprisingly, in the mornings, he's never at his default settings. Equally interested in wearing whatever she tried on him- like a human mannequin. He passed his subtle smiles- thinking she wouldn't notice, but she always did. When he smiled, the air around them smiled too.

But right now, all that looked like an illusion. A truth far from the reality. Something she wanted to believe. But something she shouldn't.

She stood up again, the one seater, pushing back due to her jerky motions, and threw the shirt on him, "With all the secrets you're holding within, you are more likely to catch cold and sneeze out those secrets by mistake. So wear yourself!"

'Fiesty Princess!'- he could comment, but only in his mind.

*

To be continued...