I only sat at the dining table, looking bored, as my mother served my husband his third serving of moong dal halwa, after she came to know it is his favourite. My sister, Aryaa was scowling too, but only because she had to pause her 'Bitching about Arunima' session with her 'Abhi Jeeju'. I don't know when she transitioned from 'mister' to 'Jeeju', but it was pretty clear that she bonded over me with him.

My father was looking pleased and somehow relaxed after how the wedding chaos has finally subsided, and I am back here for my pag phera. Dear husband has come to pick me up, and the for the dinner that my mother elaborately prepared for her son-in-law.

"Mumma! You are going to make him diabetic."

She chuckled, "I am glad you have started caring for him like a responsible wife."

I rolled my eyes, "I am only saying that because diabetes medicines are really expensive."

Before i could get a chance to be smug about my comment, a gentle but humiliating smack landed on my head. It was mumma, ofcourse.

"Stop being rude and unusually smug.", and then she looked at Papa, "See! Kaise bigad rakha hai apni beti ko!"(Look how you have spoiled your daughter.)

To my displeasure, Mr. Husband was enjoying alot. The attention. The food. And my bashing. I'll see what happens when I act innocent in front of my mother in law.

Later that night, we left my home. I was a little emotional though i didn't want to express it. I am not coming back here, not so soon. We'll leave for Bangalore and then I'll be busy in my writing and career prospects. Life will move forward but my home has permanently changed. It didn't settle well with me. I always had issues with leaving people, places and things. That is one of the reasons why i always had minimum number of people in my life. My attachment issues are severe. Worse, I am clingy. And the world doesn't consider it all cool anymore.

Somehow, I have learnt to hide this behind smugness, behind my ease to show I only ever care about myself.

Like right now, when my parents were expressing their concern for me, i said that only two things concern me. My new library room in Bangalore, and my sister highjacking my room. They only rolled their eyes- because they probably know this is my defence mechanism. But the reality is- I'll miss them a lot.

"Arunima?"

My heart skipped a beat as I heard him call my name. It wasn't the first time, but it felt awkward. Nobody calls me Arunima. It's all Aru, and sometimes Aruna, especially for my father.

I looked at him, "Abhimaan?"

If it is about saying full names, with all fifty plus syllables, I am on it. His lips twitched.

"Are you upset?"

I nodded, "Yeah...my room...that snake Aryaa is going to take it despite having one of her own."

He gave me a look, making me wonder if he didn't believe what I said, and then looked ahead.

"Apko haveli khareed dun ek? Phir rooms hi rooms honge."

(Should I buy a castle for you. There will be plenty of rooms there.)

I looked away, my heart playing that traitorous tune again. He is a smooth talker. I know that now. He knows how to render you speechless. He'll buy a haveli for me? I mean not in the literal sense, but even the thought is expensive.

I looked at him, "Nahi! Mujhe ek island chahiye."(No. I want an island.)

He hummed, as if deliberating seriously, but that side glance told me he knew I was playing with him.

"Aur kuch?"(Anything else?)

I nodded, "One brownie please. Missed it in the wedding. That Aryaa told me Papa also arranged brownie in the dessert section."

He nodded, "He did."

"Why didn't you tell me such crucial information?"

He looked a little attacked at that, "I didn't know it was that crucial."

I glared at him, and then smirked, "Brownie in one kilometre radius of me. That's more crucial than President's visit. You get that!?"

"I do."

"Good boy."

*

We were sitting in a small aesthetic cafe, named Ibadat, and that had the beautiful view of Yamuna river front. Delhi was a crowded place so being in a quiet place with gentle ambience was rare. I loved these places, but I never got the chance to go to one. I thought they only looked good in pictures. But this guy before me, he seems fully invested in the peace.

The waiter, named Mohak brought our order, and served before me my beloved brownie and cold coffee. He, on the other hand took only a tea, that smelled like it was flavoured with a lot of ginger.

"Sirf Chai?"(Only tea?), I asked.

He nodded gently, "Mohak makes really good tea, and so i prefer this one whenever I come here."

This cafe was about twenty kilometres away from home and about twenty five from his office. It's not possible he comes here that frequently.

"How frequently do you come here?",

He shrugged, "I was here just the night before our wedding."

I chuckled, "Don't tell me you needed liquid courage."

A sudden laugh escaped him, making me look up from my brownie. He laughs? Like does he even know how to laugh? Apparently he does. But that rich? That's not laughter. That's a scandal.

"Liquid courage. Actually I did need it. You are a handful."

That was probably an insult, but I took it as a compliment. To hold me, one needs more than just hands. So yeah, I am a handful. Proudly handful.

We left when the clock struck eleven. He had already informed his mom that we will be late, and so when we walked in that mansion -my 'sasural', the lights were off and everyone was already packed in their rooms.

I was lying on the bed, closing my eyes, when I felt the bed dip beside me. The lights by his side closed, and i felt him leaning a bit over me, and closing the lights on my side. Since the last three days, this has been the highlight of them. The bed dipping beside me, the woody mystic fragrance surrounding me, and then his sigh before comfortably lying on the bed. I have never had a man this near beside me. It was unsettling, but in a strange way. In a way that the darkness of the room didn't scare me. His choosing to lie on the side of the door, and then asking me if I am co...

"Are you comfortable?"

I hummed, and turned myself to face him. He was staring above, at the ceiling. His arm resting under his head and another acting as a boundary between us.

At my movement, he looked at me, our eyes met. Something incomprehensible passed between us.

And then I asked him the question that's been bothering me since the first day I met him.

"Can you give me an honest reason about why you were so persistent on marrying me?"

Yes, our marriage was arranged. A distant relative introduced our father's to each other. But somehow, he has been at the centre of it all. I was just another girl. His buaji told me on the second day, that he was offered a marriage with a CEO, a doctor, a politician's daughter and not to forget, a very famous corporate lawyer. But he has rejected them all. Without even seeing their pictures. She said it to tell me how high and mighty favour he has done by marrying me. I only rolled my eyes at her words, making her declare that I am a -'Badtameez Bahu'. I also told her that he was running behind me to marry me, which was an exaggeration but my mother in law and my father in law only laughed at my words, confirming them.

But that question has been imprinted on my mind.

Why me?

"You want a reason?", He asked.

I nodded.

He gave me a meaningful glance. Like he wanted to say something that I couldn't hear.

And then a moment later, like a spell casted on him broke, he shrugged nonchalantly, "There's no reason. I wanted to marry. You were available."

The little spark of hope, that rose in me, since i witnessed the softness in his actions -it died. He married me because I was available. Not because he had a little liking to how I was.

"How convenient!", I said, a little too enthusiastically, and then turned to the other side, not wanting to engage with him, any further. I was available! I haven't been available to any man out there. I've kept myself off limits. I always thought I was incapable of love, but deep within, I was waiting for someone who'd value me for who I am. But the one man i marry, the one who begged me to, the one chance I gave in, I hear that I was available.

"Aru..", I cut him off before it can go anywhere further, "Good night Mr. Rathore."

*

The next day, I was furious. The sadness of the night before, it has taken the form of rage, as soon as the sun came up. I was standing in the humongous kitchen, cooking anything I knew how to.

The kitchen staff stood at the periphery, watching me carefully. But I didn't care. I needed to divert my anger.

The guests still hadn't fully left. His buaji, some of his cousins, and his chachaji were here. And I had already had my first rasoi a day before yesterday. So i wasn't really prohibited in the kitchen.

"Arunima? Beta?", I looked up from the simmering pot of spices, only to see my mother in law standing at the threshold.

"Beta? What are you doing in the kitchen?"

Seeing her, somewhat calmed me down. I slowed my actions and breathed a little.

"Ma..I just wanted to cook for everyone."

Her eyes widened a little as she came in, "For everyone? Beta! there are twenty people in the house right now. How will you cook for so many? Huh?"

And then she lifted the lids of the pots that I had already set aside.

"God! You have already made so much! What were you all doing? Standing on the sidelines?"

I stopped her from scolding them, "Mumma! They helped. I just wanted to cook everything. All the chopping, gathering ingredients was done by them.."

She sighed, "You should have just cooked for Abhi...i can't let you cook for so many people."

I internally rolled my eyes. I wasn't cooking for him. He can have that grass in the garden, for all i care.

"It's fine Ma. I am almost done. This sambhar will be done in a few minutes. And then, I just have to make tea and coffee."

She looked unconvinced, but then sighing, she tucked her own saree, and then began helping me.

"Let me make coffee and tea. You finish with your sambhar. And please take all this to the dining table, and go and call everyone for breakfast. Tell them- Aaj ka naashta meri Bahu ne banaya hai."

(My daughter in law cooked breakfast today.)

*

She corrected my saree after I washed my face. Working in the kitchen can easily defeat working out in the gym. Soon enough, his cousins started coming in, followed by Chachaji.

"Aaj ka naashta Bhabhi ne banaya?", Manas said as he settled on a chair, "Why do you work so much?"(Bhabhi cooked breakfast today?)

Soon enough, I felt 'him' come beside me, even before I saw him. He turned to his mother, "Ma? Why was Arunima cooking? For so many people?"

Ma rolled her eyes, "Me and her, we were playing saas-bahu. And I was a cruel saas, so I made her work."

My lips twitched a little, as I started serving Chachaji who looked delighted and amused, at the same time.

He, on the other hand, looked agitated. Begrudgingly, he sat on his usual chair, and a chair was left beside him by his cousins, who were all now, making fun of his agitation.

"Bhabhi! Next time you cook for us, bhaiya will probably send us to hell.", his cousin sister Abha said, jokingly.

I shook my head, "Don't worry. I'll cook and send you food in the hell also. Nobody can stop me."

They all laughed and enjoyed their brother's agitation who was now looking at me, as I served my father in law.

Meanwhile, Buaji strolled in, chanting god's name, but eyeing everyone with disdain, especially me.

"Sir pe palla lelo bahu...tumhare do do sasur baithe hai yahan!" (Cover your head, daughter in law! Your two father in law's are sitting here).

I wanted to retort but nonetheless obliged. Taking the loose end of my saree, as my father in law and his brother told her it was fine.

I wouldn't have even kept it fully on my head, before dear husband spoke up.

"Bua ji! Bahut acche Baal hain uske...shaadi karke isliye nahi laya ki unhe chupake rakhe."

(Bua ji! Her hair is really beautiful. I have not married her so she should hide them.)

I liked his reply, his cousins passing sneaky looks at us. His father laughed, "You're right Abhi!"

But then, just to annoy him, I kept the saree end on my head, "It's okay Papa! I'll love to hide my hair from prying eyes."

And so, from 'prying eyes', of my husband, I hid my hair.

Bua ji nodded approvingly. If I have to choose between buaji and my husband, I'll always choose buaji. Even when I don't like her one bit. Atleast she doesn't tag me as 'Available'.

I could feel annoyance emanating out of him as I settled to take my seat. Good job Arunima! You deserve a raise in your self confidence.

I served myself some idli sambhar, and he served himself.

"Gussa ho?", he asked.

(Are you angry?)

I turned to look at him, "Nahi...Arunima hu.."(No! I am Arunima.)

*

The day passed in a blur among everyone. I somehow, liked having so many people around. After my grandparents died, I had a small family. And it's been a long time. Both my parents too called me and asked a multiple times if I was doing good.

The man of the day, my husband, was gone to work. Truthfully, i didn't want him home.

Although i could see two texts in my inbox.

*Jaahil Admi*

Do you like ice cream? I can sneak in some for you.

Are you upset because I didn't properly answer your question?

Almost there. But not where i want him to be.

I didn't reply to those four and two hours old texts. His cousins discussing about flight crashes was interesting. I busied myself in that.

A few minutes later, one of the staff woman came in with an elaborated tray and kept it before us.

"Chhote sahab sabke liye ice cream laye hai.", and soon after, the mentioned, 'Chhote sahab' walked in the backyard.

(Chhote sahab has brought ice cream for everyone.)

"Ohhh! Bhaiya thank you!!!", and just as the tray was kept before us, everyone reached for their favorites.

Before everyone could pick their intended bowl, he intervened, "Stop everyone!"

They dropped the bowls back and then looked at him surprised. I did too. What now?

"Let Arunima pick up her favourite flavour. And then you all can follow."

I felt my cheek warming up, from that statement, and then the teasing glances and grins thrown my way.

"Bhabhiiiii....I guess all this ice cream is for you. We are just going to help you from wasting it."

I shifted a little uncomfortable in my place, "Oh it's okay...i don't even like ice cream that much."

"Bring a brownie please!", he asked the servant standing at the side, "I am sure she likes ice cream with brownie."

Giggles followed at his 'oh so caring nature'. I can't say anything about brownie. I'll be exposed. And so when everyone started teasing us for our 'adorable love', i couldn't help but sit quietly, passing a few smiles time to time. Atleast I get a brownie and a ice cream out of it.

He came and settled beside me, observing me carefully time to time. I only sat at my place, avoiding his gaze as much as I could.

*

The night settled quietly, a few guests leaving after the dinner. It had casted a soothing silence in the night. I was in my room, his room. My dear sister, she had gifted me a thick diary, hoping I'd write my bestseller in it. And somehow, I was motivated to write.

The chaotic feeling had settled and I had taken a seat on his lounge chair and began writing. Sometimes later, I felt him come and sit across me. However, i didn't look up. If I did, my focus would break. And so, he came later with his laptop. By midnight, I had started yawning. And so, when that fifteen thousands words long chapter finally ended, I closed the diary, and looked up.

His face was glowing from the light of the laptop. And I had stolen a few seconds to admire it.

'There's no reason. I wanted to marry. You were available.'

Right now, he looked like an absolute picture worthy man, someone who'd steal my attention at anytime of the day. Is marriage so powerful? It let's you see a man in a different light. Somehow, in a way, where i wanted to make him my world, but I knew both men and world, are not easy. It is not a romantic story where I'd fall for him only because he is beautiful, and may be cares a little.

A man who wouldn't see you for what you are- is not to be loved. You don't make him your world. You don't tell him you are softening for him. May be, may be I was there. At the right place. At the right time. So he says i was available. But I wasn't available just like that.

My instincts, they melted for him at the first glance. Even when I called him 'Jaahil Admi' for the first time. Even when I said no to the marriage, for the sake of my career. Even when his mother asked me to say yes to him.

Something told me, he wouldn't just be an another suitor. And so when I said yes to him, i didn't really say it because of his mother, his words, or himself. It was because my inner voice had told me, he was it.

"Arunima?", my trance broke when he called out to me. I looked at him, and then at the time on my phone's screen.

00:34.

"Sojaye aap. Office jana hoga kal."

( Go to sleep. You must have office tomorrow.)

I said to him, and then picked up my things, and went to my side of bed. I had my elaborated skin care pending, but right now, I was being my lazy self. I'd care for my skin tomorrow. Right now, I'd care for my sleep.

"Arunima? Are you still angry?"

Men and their worse ways with words. He knows i am angry. He still has to ask me a hundred times like a fool. And then, eventually, I'd start feeling my anger or resentment for him is the issue. And not him.

He was standing a little far from the bed, looking straight at my soul. And i was just soaking in his question. I would be wrong to not admit my resolve to keep him at a distance was already breaking.

I acknowledged his words with a silent shake of my head and then covered myself in the duvet.

Men and mistakes. It comes as a package.

I felt him come on the bed, and then lying down beside me. Soon i felt a hand from over the duvet. It came up on me and hugged me tight from over the duvet.

"Aap gussa hojati hain to mera sukoon chala jata hai."

(I lose my peace when you get angry.)

I closed my eyes at the warmth I was feeling. Men and warmth. It comes in package too, I guess.

"Kuch boliye? Aap itni shant achi nahi lagti. Sabse to bahut baatein ki apne poore din. Mere messages abhi tak seen nahi kiye gaye."

(Say something. I don't like you this silent. You talked so much to everyone today. While my messages, they are still not seen.)

I didn't say anything. His hand on me, it was playing with the edge of the duvet.

"Main na sounga, na sone doonga. So please speak up."

( I won't sleep, and i won't let you sleep too.)

I spoke up, to shut him up.

"Good night."

He stilled for a moment and then pulled me closer, "Aise kaise good night. Mujhse jhagda hi karlijiye."

(How good night. At least fight with me.)

I sighed loudly. No man would beg his wife to fight with him. But as I said, i am always blessed with strange objects.

*